wanted : stranger

Hey. Just came home to my own blog, after reading someone's blog. Suddenly I feel sad, and this time is different :( I don't know what to do, I've tried my best to be a better me, and am still trying. I know that no one could ever turn back time, or rearrange what they had done in the past. For now, I desperately need the ability. You can call me a dreamer, a loser, or a past-inhabitant (since I often use this expression, "If I did .........., I wouldn't be like this." and another kind of "If I .........")

Maybe you see me as the same-old-Erika. Yes it's true, but the more things I change, the more I stay the same. Trust me. I'm human, and I'm not perfect. Can you see that?

I know I should talk about it with someone. I've talked about it with my closest friends, the result is I can't find a way. I need someone but he/she is not my friend. Someone from other school, city, or country, anywhere. So, I am able to know their true perspective (unlike my friend, they don't have any relation with it). Moreover, I can find a way to solve this.

I want to stop my endless depression which comes every time I deal with this.

I miss the old times.
I miss my silly laughs.
I miss ____.

I. Need. You. Stranger.